Elizabeth (greyautumnrain) wrote,
Elizabeth
greyautumnrain

Screw Positive Thinking

Last time around, on my first IVF, I was trying very hard to stay positive and think good thoughts and all that stuff. I focussed on the fact that it just might work. Heck, I even worried a little about getting yarn to make a second copy of all the baby things I've done to date just in case it was twins, even though I knew the second embryo's chances were slim at best. I was all about positive thinking even though it is NOT my natural inclination. We all know where that ended up.

This time around I'm not going to bother. While I believe that there is something of a mind-body effect, I simply can't believe that its going to make any difference as to whether or not a heavily fragmented embryo that happens to be floating around inside me makes it to the blastocyst stage or not. Given that, I don't think its worth the effort of employing all those internal thought police. It's easier to be honest with myself: I just don't think this cycle is going to work. It might, but I'm not going to hold my breath.

On the other hand, I am still being careful. Most especially I am not giving in to the temptation to take something stronger that fiber for everyone's favorite side effect of progesterone in oil. If the cycle is doomed I at least want to be darn certain that I didn't actually do anything to doom it.
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