Elizabeth (greyautumnrain) wrote,

What I hope I'm getting myself into

Nothing particularly exciting is happening at the moment on the IVF front, but I feel like posting about it anyways. I'm taking my pills. It turns our that I am much better at remembering to take them every day at roughly the same time when the point is to cause a pregnancy rather than to prevent one. I sure hope this works and I wind up with a baby.

One of the things that is slightly unusual about me is how well I remember my early childhood. I have a very good recollection of the night when I was four when I got Mom up three times during the night to change the sheets on my bed. By the third time Mom was having trouble locating clean sheets, and looked pretty tired. I told her I was sorry, and I really meant it. I couldn't understand why it was that I kept waking up with a wet bed, and it occurred to me by the third time that Mom was not so happy to be searching for clean sheets after the third incident in one night. Mom handled it well. She told me that it was OK, it was not my fault, I was sick and had diarrhea. I hadn't realized that I was sick, so I felt a bit better, but I was still pretty sorry that Mom had to cope. I'm really glad Mom had it together enough to tell me it was not my fault; she was probably having a worse night than I was all things considered.

Going into IVF, I fully realize that if all goes well I am letting myself in for quite a number of nights like the one my Mom had that night. If it works there will be a sick preschooler who gets me up three or more times in one night so that I can change sheets that are not just 'wet' as the preschooler will inform me, but actually soaked through with liquid shit. If this works there will be a baby that screams in the night for no apparent reason and who will seem impossible to soothe. If this works there will be a baby who in all likelihood will spit up all over some article of clothing that I really don't want that to happen to but was foolish enough to wear anyway. I know this, and I am so hoping that it will work. Bring on the three sheet changes nights! Please.
Tags: ttc

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