Elizabeth (greyautumnrain) wrote,
Elizabeth
greyautumnrain

Surgery ho?

My inner Darth Vader seems to be MIA this morning. I must find he quickly, preferrably in time for the group meeting.

Julie, the nurse at the fertility clinic called me back pretty late yesterday, like around 5:30. I was working late partly because I had stuff to do, and partly because I was waiting for the call, so that was OK, but a little ominous, because I'm pretty sure that Julie usually knocks off at 5. The upshot of the brief conversation is that I now have an appointment in two weeks to talk to Dr. Grace about surgery to get rid of Sidious once and for all and restore balance to the force. OK, Julie didn't mention restoring balance to the force, but she did mumble something about an endometrium or something. Joy. I'd already figured that if surgery was going to happen I was going to ask them to poke around and make really sure my uterus was OK after all, just because I was feeling paranoid about it. Now we have the nurse dropping terms that suggest I'm not just paranoid, my uterus may actually be out to get me.

Do we have an answer now? I'm not sure. The truth is we have no idea how long Sidious has been lurking there on my left ovary. He showed up on my very first baseline ultrasound ever. It makes me wish I'd gotten a wand stuck you-know-where on CD3 a lot sooner than this. For all I know he could have been there all along, sabatoging my chances of ruling the galaxy as mother and child. He could also be the product of the three totally unmonitered Clomid cycles courtesy of Dr. Dipshit. He could have just shown up. We don't know. What we do know is that he isn't going away fast enough for me. As far as I know there is only one answer for that.

I'm not exactly keen to have surgery. I've never had surgery before. I'm not afraid of the pain or anything, its just that I'm firmly of the belief that getting cut open and fiddled with should be the last resort. I'm pretty sure that the doctors, good as they are, aren't as good at putting you together as mother nature is. On the other hand, I want to have a baby dammit, and I'm not getting any younger, so I'm pretty up for taking aggresive action at this point.

Of course this all hinges on what Dr. Grace says. She'll need to tell me her opinion and go over my options, blah blah blah. I have questions, sure, but I think I have a fair idea of where we're headed with this.

It goes without saying that there will be not treatment this cycle. I didn't even bother to ask, and Julie didn't even bother to say. Its kind of nice that she knows she didn't have to tell me the blindingly obvious.
Tags: ttc
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