Elizabeth (greyautumnrain) wrote,

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Side Effects of Hope

I suppose I really should write an entry about something other than my attempts to reproduce, but the truth is I'm really not thinking about anything else just now.

One of the major side effects of feeling hope again for the first time in a while is that I'm becoming obsessive about it again. I suppose this makes me rather dull company. Another side effect is that I'm experienced phantom symptoms again for the first time in over a year. On Monday I had two incidents of feeling period-like cramping. Of course the hopeful part of my brain was screaming about implantation, but the rational part quickly noted that 4DPO is way too early for implantation, it typically takes twice that long. I'm not sure what was up with that, but between my subconcious and the various extra hormones I've been using anything is possible.

One of the urban legends out there about trying to conceive is that if you dream about babies during the two week wait it means that you're pregnant. Last night I had a nightmare about babies. Specifically I dreamed that I was pregnant with twins but I was learning from an ultrasound that the babies had died when they were still just two little blobby sacks on the monitor. Argh. I think this now qualifies as the worst nightmare I can currently think of. I wonder what the urban legend has to say about that one.
Tags: ttc
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