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More Proof that Life is Not Fair - Elizabeth Unexplained
Lots of data but no answers
04:06 pm October 3rd, 2005
greyautumnrain
greyautumnrain
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More Proof that Life is Not Fair
So, in the final mad rush of preperations for Magaret's wedding I got an email for the husband of one of my friends from the dance team. It was a mass emailing detailing the birth of their baby daughter. Gah. Normally I am pretty happy for friends who get pregnant/have kids given as how I've been forced into a new appreciation of how you can't take these things for granted. This one was a major bummer though. I was at there wedding a year ago, at which point I'd already been trying to get pregnant for a few months and was starting to be a little disappointed that it wasn't happening right away. They managed to get married and reproduce in the time its taken me to get absolutely nowhere on the whole reproduction thing. One of the things noted in the email was that the baby was born on her actual due date, so it wasn't like she was early, either. Grrr.

I know some of my dear friends who read this managed to get pregnant within a couple of months of trying. I like you all very much, but I'm also insanely jealous to the point of hating you at times. I know its not your fault and I should just be happy for you, but sometimes that just isn't enough.

Now that's she's married, there's also the very real possibility that my sister will get pregnant before I do. It certainly sounds like they intend to start trying right away. Of course I don't want them to wait if that's not what they want to do, but dammit I was trying first. 16.5 months worth of trying first.

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Comments
Thread started by remcat
remcat From: remcat Date: October 3rd, 2005 08:32 pm (UTC) (Link)
:( That sucks. Sorry to hear it.

Like I've said before, I only know a tiny bit of the frustration you're experiencing (6 months does not compare to over a year, plus I'm on the other side of trying). But, I get it. I was horribly jealous of people who were faster than me at getting pregnant, and very very irritated with my body for not cooperating immediately.

Hang in there, try not to get too bitter. :-S
(Reply) (Thread)
mijven From: mijven Date: October 4th, 2005 04:24 am (UTC) (Link)
Bwah ha ha. The world is wacky somehow.

You (remcat) are likely unaware of this, but at one point when I came up to meet your firstborn, you extolled the virtues of motherhood and urged me to pursue this path. I can't remember how I handled the response (probably not terribly graciously) but I know what I didn't say "you think I haven't been trying?!" :)

So yeah, pureness of thought evades us all. It's okay. It's not okay that life's not fair - but other than hoping, there's not much I can say to that. :S
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greyautumnrain From: greyautumnrain Date: October 4th, 2005 06:39 am (UTC) (Link)
In a way I was lucky at Margaret's wedding. My aunt and the four associated cousins were there but no one asked me when Warren and I were going to have kids. The female cousin in that set went through the whole infertility thing and now has two adopted daughters, so I think they were cluefull enough to figure that a lack of kids didn't necessarily mean a lack of trying.
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remcat From: remcat Date: October 4th, 2005 09:01 am (UTC) (Link)
Sorry about that :(.

I'm an old hand at shoving my foot in on this topic with people.

Case in point: I was nattering on at a fellow M&M member about how she really ought to have a 2nd kid, because that would solve all her problems with her first. On and on I went, until someone took me aside and told me she'd miscarried less than a week previous. Ugh.
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greyautumnrain From: greyautumnrain Date: October 4th, 2005 06:33 am (UTC) (Link)
Its OK to be frustrated at six months of trying, goodness knows I was. At least I'm beyond being irritated at my body. After all, the docs can't find a darned thing wrong with my body. I blame the universe for hating me. :P

Like I said, though, I mostly very happy for my friends with kids, especially the ones who are doing such a good job raising them.
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Comment by chenoameg
chenoameg From: chenoameg Date: October 5th, 2005 11:23 am (UTC) (Link)
I really try not to think how crazy I'll get if my sister gets pregnant before I do.

It's a problem, really, since I want to reassure her that she is ready to start a family, but I just can't bring myself to do it because what if she does.
(Reply) (Thread)
Comment by Pete
baronet From: baronet Date: October 6th, 2005 12:34 pm (UTC) (Link)

Sympathy
You have my sympathy. If I could help, I would.

I offer this minor silver lining: You should have an easy time getting hand-me-downs and advice about which carseats are best.
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