June 4th, 2012

Mommy Doll

The State of the Pregnancy

It seems I haven't posted about this pregnancy since I got the amnio results. Between the kids and the "rapture" process I've been busy. Also, at this point it is much like the previous two pregnancies that made it this far.

I'm currently in the good phase of the pregnancy. This may be a bit of a shocker, but much as I'm always thrilled to be pregnant, I don't actually enjoy every little second. Much of the first trimester feels like a constant case of the stomach flu. The least little thing makes me want to throw up, and I have absolutely no energy. It's the kind of unwell no energy feeling I only get with bad colds, where standing up through an entire shower is almost more than I can manage. Fortunately I have learned that taking extra iron helps with that, but the first trimester still just kind of sucks. The second trimester is as good as pregnancy gets. You can feel the baby kicking so you know it's still alive, but the kicks are mostly still cute and fluttery. Mostly. You start to look pregnant, but you're not yet so huge that it gets in your way. Of course all this is destined to end soon. While the scale says that my weight gain has been modest, and the doctor claims that I am measuring exactly where I should be, I feel HUGE for 27 weeks. The kicks are starting to be more than cute, my pelvis is creaking like a 100 year old rocking chair, and I know from experience that a few weeks from now the baby is going to start trying to invade my ribcage. There will come a point where I will just feel that I am done with the pregnancy. With Margaret I hit that point at about 38 weeks, with Duncan it was at 34 weeks. I know that taking two data points and drawing a trend line isn't the best idea, but still...

My morale has been helped a lot by some new maternity clothes. I hadn't planned on getting any new maternity wear. Clothes purchases for me these days tend to be strictly necessary items only. The thing is, I did have a necessary purchase that took me to Motherhood maternity a few weeks ago. I've been wearing the same two nursing nightgowns since Margaret was two months old. I should also note that I got them as hand-me-downs from my sister who I am nearly certain got them second hand from a friend. Having worn them myself for nearly 4 years it was no shock when they became so worn out that the fabric simply wore through in multiple places. When your preschooler is pointing out the holes in your nightgown it might be time to get a replacement, so I did. I now have two brand new nursing nighties, and while I was there I also picked up a new bra (again, old nursing bras are wearing out), and two maternity skirts. The skirts are great, and what are making me smile. The last time I was pregnant I had stopped nursing, so the fact that most of my maternity dresses aren't great for nursing was less of an issue. This time things are different, and the new skirts let me wear my beloved nursing tops with bottoms designed to fit my current shape. I don't even feel very guilty about the skirts because I plan to continue wearing them postpartum as long as I am wearing nursing tops, which is probably going to be at least another two years, and I needed new skirts anyway because the ones I've been wearing for the past six or seven years are also wearing out. So hooray for new (ankle length!) skirts.

Another good thing about this pregnancy is that I am not feeling wistful about the fact that it is almost certainly my last pregnancy. I thought I might, since I love my babies and would happily have another if my finances and my body allowed for that possibility. On the other hand I have enough of a grip on reality to realize I have a better chance of being struck by lightning. I'm not thinking things like 'this is the last time I'll ever do X,' instead I am thinking that I have two wonderful little kids, and the one on the way is healthy and doing well. That isn't to say I don't have my worries. Saturday night I had an unfortunately vivid dream that involved blood gushing from down there and a complicated premature labor, but my waking self knows that all indications are that this boy is healthy and doing well, I have a good history of carrying to term once pregnancy is this far along, and at this point every day that passes makes this kid more likely to well outside the womb should things change.