Elizabeth (greyautumnrain) wrote,

There were four in the bed and the little one said...

We've been co-sleeping. We hadn't meant to, it just turned out to be the path of least resistance. We have a California king size bed, which is four inches narrower and four inches longer than a regular king size bed. It is the absolutely widest thing that can fit in the space available. It has, up until this point, been plenty wide enough for two adults and one toddler, but the future has me wondering who is going to get kicked out of bed first, though I think the answer is obvious.

Since Duncan was born we've added a bassinet on my side of the bed. Since my side of the bed also corresponds to where the door to the room is, that means the bassinet is sitting in the doorway blocking about 3/4 of the doorway, but aren't large people, so we just squeeze by sideways. I go to bed with the kids. The protocol is that Duncan sleeps in the bassinet and Margaret sleeps in the middle. This usually breaks down sometime around 4:30 am when Duncan wakes up for his second feed of the night. He has enough head control now that his bleary-eyed mother scoops him up out of the bassinet, turns on her right side and pops him on the right boob, while using the right arm as a barrier to make sure he doesn't wiggle anywhere. Margaret is on the left side. So far this has been a great solution, though as often as not I find myself waking up having dozed off with one kid on each side.

(I will say at this point that one of the advantages of not being a popular infertile mommy blogger is that I won't have to worry about comments from internet scolds telling me about the terrible danger I am putting my children in by co-sleeping.)

For right now the situation is working out OK, but I can see potential issues. Having an infant and toddler in bed together is not recommended since the toddler can injure the infant. Right now my body is serving as a barrier. Once Duncan becomes more mobile I won't be able to trust my arm to be an effective barrier to his rolling out of bed any more. The other issue is that Margaret rotates in her sleep. I put her down in the traditional sleeping position with her head on the pillows and her body parallel to mine. She often falls asleep with her arm around me, which is very sweet. The thing is, by midnight-ish when I wake up to feed Duncan the first time she had rotated 90 degrees and is laying across the bed. When she was younger this rotation was less of an issue, but she's getting taller, and thus is taking up more and more bed width. Since Warren rarely comes to bed before midnight this means Margaret is taking up space that he used to consider his side of the bed. Since he is wrapped so very tightly around Margaret's little finger, he is unwilling to shift her in her sleep the way I sometimes do. This morning I woke up to find Margaret's feet against my side, her head against Warren's side, and Warren practically hanging off the far side of the bed. If she grows another inch he is going to be out of luck, not to mention Duncan is not getting any smaller, so I might migrate further to the middle before I find a need to figure out what to do about him.

If we were going to be practical we'd have Margaret graduate to her own bed. It sounds so simple and reasonable in text. Those of us who live with Dear Leader, though, realize that she might not see it that way. If Warren is unwilling to move his sleeping daughter, I doubt he will endure the cries of her wrath that will surely come if we attempt to alter her sleeping place against her will. I think we can all see where this is going, and why when purchasing a sofa Warren is so very concerned with how comfortable they are to sleep on. Here's hoping Margaret can be persuaded into wanting to sleep in a toddler bed.

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