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Two Under Two - Elizabeth Unexplained
Lots of data but no answers
Two Under Two
I should be napping now, but I've been wanting to post for the past two weeks, thus I will compromise and make it brief.

I did this to myself, for very good reasons, so I am not complaining nor do I regret my decision to start trying for the second child so soon after the first one was born. On the other hand, may I heartily recommend that if you are thinking of having more than one child that you yourself choose a much more sane spacing, unless of course you have equally compelling reasons why you can not.

Caring for a toddler and an infant is an interesting balancing act. Sometimes the infant sleeps when the toddler needs attention and the toddler occupies herself while the infant needs breastfeeding and when that happens all is right in my world. Sadly, that is not always the case. Mornings are the worst. Mornings are when I find myself trying to manage two babies who often both want food at the same time, and one of those babies is mobile and one requires some care to carry on account of being brand new. In general I love parenting, but I don't love it when it seems like I'm having to choose every particular moment which child gets to cry right now while I attend the needs of the other. Duncan is still a small enough baby that he will lose a latch if jostled while breastfeeding, which makes doing much of anything while feeding him difficult. I've tried reading to Margaret while feeding him, but... well, let's just say that reading to Margaret is a more physically interactive affair than you might guess.

It will get better. Having my mother up here for the first week was a real sanity saver. Alas, she can not stay forever. I expect things will be better by the time I return to work, at which point they will likely get worse again as we will have a whole new routine to get used to.

In related news, I was right about the minivan. With two wee children power sliding doors are more of a necessity than a luxury.
3 comments or Leave a comment
chenoameg From: chenoameg Date: February 19th, 2010 07:25 pm (UTC) (Link)
I think you're allowed to complain when things are hard even when they are things you want.

enugent From: enugent Date: February 19th, 2010 07:32 pm (UTC) (Link)
I agree with this sentiment wholeheartedly.

Good luck to you, Elizabeth. For what it's worth, even though the first few years were very hard, my mother is happy to have had her kids so close together. She said that after the toddler years were over, it was really nice to be able to plan vacations, etc., with both of us being in pretty much the same stage at the same time. I hope that you will look back with the same complacency in twenty years (or forty).
jaedian From: jaedian Date: February 24th, 2010 04:05 am (UTC) (Link)
I have done both now. And having them close in age is a really pain for that first year, and a mild pain for the first few - it becomes much nicer later on. Both in elementary school. Similar ages for playmates, and activities.

Having the one child 4 years behind is a royal pain in a different way. I have to drag her on lots of developmentally inappropriate outings. (and she gets mad when she can't do things) And it was kind of sad to be having a baby just when the older ones were getting more independent and starting school. And in the beginning there was a lot of hauling a baby on a schedule to all sorts of activities and school for the older kids. In the first few months it was hard, she learned to nap and feed wherever.

So just keep putting one foot in front of the other and soon you will be thru the hardest part. Also, there is alot of adjustment for Margaret from being only child to a sibling. She just has to learn that she can't get her way all the time anymore. (or that the dear leader title may have moved on ;-} And that would be true at whatever age she was when you had another. It is probably easier to learn a new role from a younger age.
3 comments or Leave a comment