Elizabeth (greyautumnrain) wrote,

Stupid Mommy Tricks

I honestly don’t know how parents who regularly use daycare manage. My first experience with drop-off daycare is proof positive that I am spoiled by having an au pair. Normally all I have to do in the morning is get myself ready for work, mix up a batch of formula and get Margaret changed, dressed and fed. That seems like plenty. This morning things were a bit more involved, in spite of the fact that I’d packed the diaper bag with every non-perishable thing she’d need the night before. I do not want to do this every morning. Here is my morning:

7:15 I wake up. I note that Margaret is still fast asleep and seize the opportunity to take a shower without company playing with the shower curtain.

7:45 I have my dress on, but still no tights. Margaret wakes up. I pick her up out of bed before she decides to use her Daddy as a jungle gym.

7:50 Before I can change her sodden overnight diaper we have a containment issue. I get the baby cleaned up and dressed for the day.

8:05 As I’m about to put my tights on I realize that my dress was also a casualty of the containment failure. Oops. I go to the bedroom for a new dress, disturbing Warren again in the process.

8:06 As I’m putting the new dress on I realize that putting tights on before the shot is a stupid idea, plus Warren is awake anyway. I request my morning shot.

8:25 Awake and functional are not the same thing. I finally have my shot. Margaret has refused a bottle.

8:30 I attempt to prepare formula and bottles for daycare with Margaret supervising from my left arm. Sometimes her supervision has a hands-on approach.

8:40 We finally get out the door with diaper bag, bag with formula bottles, cold pack and applesauce, purse and tote bag with daycare paperwork, Load all the stuff into my car, along with the stroller. Pray that my car starts because it inexplicably needed a jump on Saturday.

8:50 Park in Davis Square, extract baby and stroller.

8:55 Sign in to lab for blood draw.

9:05 Get poked. The person doing the draw is really good in spite of the fact that 75% of her attention is on Margaret making cooing noises in her stroller. Margaret gets stickers in spite of the fact that I was the one getting poked.

9:10 Leave Davis Square and head for work.

9:15 The screaming from the back seat commences. Yes, kid, you should have taken that bottle.

9:30 Exit the big dig tunnel. The screaming in the back seat abruptly stops.

9:35 Worry that the baby has somehow managed to strangle herself to death on the car seat harness or choked to death on her stickers.

9:38 Touch baby, but fail to tell if she is breathing or not.

9:40 Arrive at work parking lot. I turn off the ignition but the key won’t turn all the way and come out. Why won’t the key come out?!!! Proceed to have minor panic attack about my car having developed to strange electrical fault.

9:42 Extract sleeping (but still breathing!) baby from the car. Margaret wakes up upon transfer to the stroller and is in a pretty good mood. I load all the stuff into the stroller and leave my car in the parking lot with the key still stuck in the ignition because I don’t seen any good alternative here.

9:45 Arrive at the building that houses the backup daycare and proceed to wait ten minutes for a security escort to the daycare.

9:55 Arrive at the daycare. The workers want to hold Margaret while I fill out paperwork. Margaret screams. I make sure they know she needs a bottle pronto. I cuddle her a bit, but then I have to leave. Margaret screams and claws at my sweater, surprising the daycare worker who is trying to take her with the strength of her grasp.

10:05 I’m back at the car. The key still won’t come out. I am trapped at work, behind the card-swipe gates with a non-functional car with bizarre electrical badness and on top of it all I have a baby and a ton of gear here too.

10:10 I arrive at my area. I proceed to stress about the situation to Neil. My boss wanders by and suggests that since my car is an automatic that I make sure it’s in park.

10:20 I check my car again. My boss fully deserves the big bucks I sure hope the company pays him, because indeed, my car is not in park. My car is not even close to in park because I was a moron and it seems that I was so preoccupied with running Baby Tracker software that I completely neglected to shift at all upon arrive in the parking lot, I just attempted to pull the key out. I feel dumb but relieved as I correct the problem and verify that the car will indeed start again.

On the IVF front, the beta number today was 843. They want me back in on Wednesday because they want to see the number over 1000. I also have an appointment for an ultrasound next week, assuming the Wednesday number is OK.

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