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Precious Moments - Elizabeth Unexplained
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greyautumnrain
greyautumnrain
Precious Moments
I told my mother a few weeks ago that I was not going to wish Margaret's babyhood away, and I find that I really, truly mean it more and more every day.

I know a lot of people who say things of the form "I can't wait until the baby does X," where X is generally some developmental stage. Personally I can wait. I certainly do want Margaret to grow and develop and such. I am looking forward to her hitting various milestones, but in the meantime the now is so very lovely too. I am not by nature a live-in-the-moment type person, but when it comes to my Margaret it turns out that I am. It started with the pregnancy, which I was paranoid about losing. I was bound and determined to enjoy being pregnant because it could theoretically have ended messily at any moment. Given that I was completely complications-free the entire time this was overkill, but strangely enough it did result in me enjoying the pregnancy a great deal. It was only for limited times during the last couple of weeks that I got tired of being pregnant, and that was mostly when my bra didn't because Margaret was trying to colonize my ribcage. Now that she is here I think I've been doing a good job of enjoying her as she is now. I'm certainly not longing for the future as the end of my maternity leave looms, and longing for developmental milestones feels like longing for sometime that is not now.

The big milestone that everyone ask me about now is whether or not she sleeps through the night. The reader's digest answer to that would be no. She and I have slept through the night exactly twice so far, the two nights we were at my parent's place. The feat has not been repeated since. I am often tempted to tell people that the baby sometimes sleeps through the night but that I do not. Technically this is true. Margaret seems to have inherited my talent for talking in her sleep and her father's tendency to wake up slowly the result is that she is perfectly capable of not only making the "enh enh enh" sounds that wake me up, but of nursing for 15 minutes without actually waking up herself. I actually endeavor to feed her before she wakes up because if I let her wake all the way up it might be 90 minutes before I manage to get her back down. When you're waking up at 1AM, 5AM and 7AM you want the feeding session to last 20 minutes, not 90 minutes. It can really suck when she's wide awake at 3AM and I desperately want some quality time with my pillow, but night feedings are a feature of babyhood. She will sleep through the night when she is good and ready, and in the meantime I try to just enjoy her, even when I'd might rather be enjoying my bed.
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