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I find your lack of clue disturbing - Elizabeth Unexplained
Lots of data but no answers
greyautumnrain
greyautumnrain
I find your lack of clue disturbing
Our story opens yesterday morning when our hero, knowing that she has a whole bunch of home pregnancy tests that are about to expire decides she might as well use one up before she has to discard them anyway. She figures she's 12 days past ovulation on a cycle where she has a huge 6% chance of having gotten pregnant, might as well. Sadly she did not hear the ominus theme music playing in the background or she may have realized what a bad idea it was. The emphatic negative was not really an issue. She knows better than to have high expectiations at this point, but more importantly there is a plan. Jedi master Grace Wendo has an aggressive plan of attack, one that simply awaits the beginning of the next cycle in order to be put into motion... or so our hero thought.

A few hours later our hero ponders writing a paper proving a causal relationship between using a home pregnancy test and the onset of mentruation as the cramps herald in the new cycle. Of course, thanks to Yoda, the cramps are not at all bad. Our hero makes the necessary call to the clinic to apprise them of the situation and is told a nurse will call her back later. Sadly, its hard to become involved enough in work to ignore the cramps entirely because the power in our hero's workplace keeps going out. It goes out and comes back on just long enough to lure our hero into restarting her computer and attempting to work, only to go out again. Meanwhile the building is several degrees warmer than outside due to the total lack of ventilation.

Around lunch time everyone flees the building. Our hero attempts to work from home, but has a mild headache. Finally a nurse from the clinic calls late in the afternoon. This nurse is not one whom our hero has met in person, and it is probably wise that she avoid doing so in the future. The nurse complains that there is no way they can do IVF this month because there is no approval and the cycle day three blood tests haven't been done. Our hero tries to explain that we were going to do IUI with injectables this month and IVF next month. She was supposed to get the blood work done on day three of this cycle, there having been no previous opportunity before she and Grace Wendo agreed on The Plan. The nurse, however, complains that there is no authorization. Its not in the note. Its not covered if its not authorized. Our hero suggests, strongly, that the nurse check with Grace Wendo, but is told that the jedi master is on vacation this week and won't be back until next week. Next week is way to late, as the plan depends on starting medication on day 3. Our hero reiterates the plan and the fact that this is what was agreed. The nurse had the gall to suggest that our hero was confused about what the jedi-master said: "She talks very quickly and gives you a lot of information very fast and it can be really confusing." Our hero, not the type to be easily confused by rapid-fire technical details seethes, but refrains from psychic attack given that she needs this administrative drone to order the medication. A few more rounds of back and forth ensue, towards the end of which the other phone rings. When call waiting goes off on her cell phone, our hero realizes that this must be her boss trying to call her, a suspicion confirmed when she hears him leaving a message on the answering machine. Distracted, she lets the nurse finally sign off when she promises to look into it and call back in the morning. Calling her boss back, our hero discovers that it was not an emergency, simply an advisement that the electrical problems were resolved and she should come in the next day. When she hangs up our hero realizes that she now has a full-scale migrane, complete with nausea and other exciting features.

The morning did not dawn very promisingly. The severity of the migrane resulted in our hero getting less than four hours of sleep that night. In fact, only the skillful massage given by our hero's fabulous husband offered any relief at all. Still, our hero faced the day with new determination that she would not be thwarted. She would not waste this month doing nothing but testing. Not trusting the nurse who had called yesterday, our hero called the clinic as asked for the nurse she knew, the one who had done her previous two IUIs to call her. Our hero rehersed her speech: 'Help me Julie-Wan Kenobi, you're my only hope.' An hour later the nurse from yesterday called her back, no doubt aware of the request for Julie since she asserted that she promised that she would call back. The nurse explained that she had emailed Jedi Master Grace Wendo, who thankfully takes her laptop with her when vacationing on Naboo. This time the nurse actually claimed that the jedi master herself may have been confused, but that they would do IUI with injectables this month while waiting for the IVF testing and approval to be completedy. This was, of course, The Plan all along, though the nurse seemed to think is was some last minute compromise that was happened upon. I think our viewers know who was really the one who was confused. Our hero simply bit her tongue and assured that her medication would arrive in a timely fashion.

The moral of the story is that you need to be assertive and use your inner Darth Vader in these situations. If I had been less assertive and less confident this woman would have wasted an entire cycle for me through her ineptitude.

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Comments
chenoameg From: chenoameg Date: August 16th, 2006 12:00 am (UTC) (Link)
I'm glad you didn't take no for an answer!
dcltdw From: dcltdw Date: August 16th, 2006 07:58 pm (UTC) (Link)
It's understandable, given that you were probably using the handset.

Next time, put her on speakerphone, sit comfortably, and then choke her to death. After all, you don't want an awkward hand/arm position to distract you.
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