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Class - Elizabeth Unexplained
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greyautumnrain
greyautumnrain
Class
This past weekend was our marathon all-at-once childbirth prep class. In many ways it went much better than I'd been expecting.

Going in I had very low expectations, but my doctors office kept pushing their various childbirth education options, even going so far as to have someone call me without my initiating it. I figured it couldn't hurt, and it might be helpful to Warren who has not spent the past few years stalking the blogs of multiple women who got pregnant after fertility treatment, and thus has probably read far fewer birth stories than I have. I almost didn't bother after they lost the check I sent them back in April, but the office that lost it scrambled so hard to try to squeeze us in that I would have felt guilty telling them 'never mind'. Of course once it was finally booked I got to feel guilty about going because it made me totally unavailable for either of the two work issues that attempted to claim me this weekend. There was an amazing stroke of sanity and one of those issues evaporated on Friday, but the other one stayed to plague my compatriots. Alas.

Saturday did not get off to a promising start. I got all of two hours sleep the night before. I can no longer turn over (or even shift position) in bed without a rather sharp pain on my left side. For a certified tosser and turner this is Not Good. Add in a bad case of pregnancy induced heartburn and you have a recipe for sleep disaster. Warren got maybe five hours, but it was probably interrupted multiple times by yours truly heaving herself into and out of bed. I was decidedly cross in the morning, which is not a good thing because my husband requires careful handling in order to get him out the door at such uncivilized hours. Let's just say it was a miracle that there was no major meltdown or injury involved and leave it at that. (I expect Warren was doing his absolute very best not to piss me off because he knew what a bad night I'd had, it just didn't feel that way at the time.)

We arrived safe, sound and on time. The instructor was a labor and deliver nurse with close to 20 years of experience, and really good at speaking. She'd also noticed my knitting before class got underway and was fine with me knitting while she talked, which really helped me stay awake. She was a good teacher, and the class was much better constructed than I had been expecting, with much more in-depth detail than I thought we would get. The biggest bonus was that she knew all the local hospitals where we would be delivering, so she could tell us what facilities would be available to us specifically. She also gave details on the policies at the local hospitals, which was very helpful. There was a minimum of silly breathing stuff during class, and the message seemed to be 'remember to breathe and do not hyperventilate' not 'breathe in this specific ridiculous way'. All in all the class exceeded my expectations by quite a bit. My expectations were pretty low, but giving what an a terrible night I had on Friday that's still impressive. I did get a decent night's sleep on Saturday, so it is perhaps less miraculous that the Sunday portion went well. Warren might feel differently since he was driving on Sunday and had to negotiate Red Sox traffic.

In somewhat tangential news, we now have six pillows in our bed. Warren gets to use one, maybe two if he is lucky. Poor guy. He spend his entire weekend getting lectured about how to wait on me hand and foot during labor, and as thanks I claim all the pillows in the house for myself. If you see him, please be nice to him, he's shivering under the thin covers every night as his heartless wife sets the A/C to 'deepfreeze' and mutters obscure threats to someone every time she shifts position.
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Comments
firstfrost From: firstfrost Date: May 19th, 2008 11:36 pm (UTC) (Link)
What? There's no more silly breathing? (All I know about the breathing thing is the Bill Cosby routine, but it made a very strong impression on me...)
gryphon2k From: gryphon2k Date: May 20th, 2008 01:53 pm (UTC) (Link)
You already know all you need to about the silly breathing, having worked with you several times in meditative states. And it does help with the pain, at least in the first stage of labor. Once you hit the second stage, the only thing that helps is really good drugs... ;) But as with all things childbirthy, YMMV.
countertorque From: countertorque Date: May 20th, 2008 05:02 pm (UTC) (Link)
See? "Remember to make sure that your wife is breathing and not hyperventilating" is all you really need to say. I get it. Expecting me to sit and due stupid breathing exercises each week really pissed me off. I'm glad your class was better.
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